AS IF WE'RE NOT SCARED ENOUGH?!

Simply Said:  I THINK I WILL DRESS AS "MICHAEL"....THE  AVENGING ANGEL!
Why dress up as "horror" when we are seeing it everyday...are actually jaded by it and have blurred the lines from Fact & Fantasy? Halloween didn't help the fear I was coping with already. What WAS stolen from my life was the ability to ENJOY FEAR! Haunted houses, sparklers that burn you, fair rides others loved to go on and on and on. My family thinks I dwell in the past too much but the PAST dwells in ME & still too easily triggered. I thank God every day that they DON"T understand because I worked hard for them not to.

DEMON DOGS IN TRUNK!

DEMON CAT IN BOX!

I IS BLACK CAT! "I KILL YOU!"

IT IS HALLOWEEN!!

So many of the things we enjoyed cannot be enjoyed today. TRICK or TREAT was an enormous sense of freedom....going to different houses AFTER DARK! I was given COOKIES, APPLES, UNSEALED CANDY AND EVEN ICE CREAM CONES FROM A RICH NEIGHBOR!! (she was very popular)  We didn't have to bring the candy home first to CHECK IT OUT or take it to a hospital to be x-rayed...we could EAT as we went! We were careful to adjust the amount to ONLY our very favorites or it might "slow us down" too early. Older neighbors could hug us or comment on our clever costumes without being "Pedophiles" or suspected of it; no one was trying to make us bleed due to razor blades or cookies with "added" ingredients. We still had the "older" kids that hadn't outgrown the FUN of "free" candy or the "resale" of it next day at school!

NOW....ENOUGH OF GLOOM & DOOM....(kind of.)
You will be glad to know we have ALWAYS had STUPID JOKES & I AM HERE TO CARRY ON THE TRADITION.

(Just in case you run low on your material...I will give you some of MY Favorites:)

DO NOT TRICK OR TREAT AT THESE HOUSES:

(1) Any house made of FOOD.

(2) Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas.

(3) Any house that wasn't there a minute ago.

(4) Any house whose only entrance goes to the    basement.

(5) Any house with extremely realistic statues of people in the front yard in odd "running away" poses.

SPOOKY PUNS:

(1) What is a mummies favorite type of music?

a.) WRAP

(2) WHY DIDN'T THE SKELETON DANCE AT THE PARTY?

a.) He had no BODY to dance with!

(3) Why does the mummy keep his bandaids in the refrigerator?  a.) He wants to use them later for cold cuts!

(4) What is Dracula's favorite coffee?

a.) De'coffin'ated!

(5) What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?

a.) Any old girl he could dig up!

HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY:

BOOGIEMAN:  The man who picks his nose at a stoplight.

FRANKENSTEIN:  Hot dog and a mug of beer.

GOBLIN:  How you ate the snickers bar after Halloween.

INVISIBLE MAN: A husband when asked to do housework!

JACK THE RIPPER: What Jack does to his lottery tickets each week.

JACK O'LANTERN:  Irish pumpkin.

PUMPKIN PATCH: What a pumpkin wears to stop smoking.

VAMPIRE BAT: What Dracula hits a baseball with.

WHEN ARE YOU TOO OLD TO TRICK OR TREAT?

1. You get winded from knocking on the door. 

2. You ask for HIGH FIBER candy only. 

3. You have to have someone else chew the candy for you

4. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 

5.You are the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

6. People say "GREAT Keith Richards mask!" and you aren't wearing a mask.

7. You avoid going to houses where your ex-husbands live.

8. By the end of the night, you have a bag of "restraining orders".

9.You have to carefully choose the right costume so your hairpiece won't fall off.

10. When the door opens, you yell "Trick or......"? You forgot!!

Dear Faithful readers, I have MANY more of these if requested?! (I'll hold my breath) Mrs.B.

P.S. FUN THINGS TO DO ON HALLOWEEN:
1. Answer the door as a Dentist. Angrily give them a 2 hour lecture on tooth decay.
2. After you give them candy, hand the trick or treaters a bill!
3. When they get near your door, jump out wearing a costume and holding a bag, and yell "Trick or Treat!!"
Look at them, scratch your head & act confused.
4. Open the door dressed as a giant FISH. Immediately collapse and don't move or say anything until they go away.

PPS. I am "just kidding"(JK) about the above...you will be arrested......Mrs.B.