IT IS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!
Birge-Bytes "It is not how old you are....it is HOW you are old!"
You can do nothing about getting older but you can do a LOT about
getting OLD! It is not BEING older that I dislike...it is being TREATED as if I am old.....trust me, it WILL come back to "bite ya".
We are all at different "chapters" in our "Life book" and many things will not be clear until you are IN the next "chapter".
Let me run some by you:
HANDICAPPED RESTROOMS/PARKING
I used to love to get these "private little rooms" with their own sinks! Like a
little apartment for me and I usually took my time there, too!
NOW, i NEED to use this room for the safety bar that lets me get up easily...I have no cartilage in both knees and most toilets are low.I NEED to be able to get up without calling for help and being horribly embarrassed....sometimes I need to get the room quickly cause of
my faulty plumbing system now. NOW, I will still have to wait for it but when a PERFECTLY HEALTHY person comes bounding out I admit
I DO glare a little. As far as the parking spots went I never had the nerve
required to take those & figured I would be the one to get caught and fined! But, I was lazy enough to actually enjoy getting to the point a Doctor would issue me one! (still lazy, but now authorized!!)NOW...i will
actually check to see when someone beats me to it IF THEY HAVE THE CARD IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR OR NOT....and glare.Ha.
COMMERCIALS
#1. "I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!"(hilarious then)
NOW?
1. Broke my left arm getting dressed in the dark at 5 a.m. for school.
Jerry wanted to call the Paramedics and I wouldn't let him because they are usually cute and I was in my underwear; i got to school and delivered three lectures before going to the hospital...(Pride)
2. Slipped off a roller desk chair in my classroom at lunch and it took
three teachers to help me up. My PRIME concern was NOT LETTING THE STUDENTS COME BACK FROM LUNCH AND CATCH ME LIKE THAT!!!(Pride)
3. The only Teachers Protest I ever did at our school I tripped in a grass and leaf covered hole and rolled under the front bushes!! A 90
lb. teacher saw me and had to go for 2 Janitors for help for me.
I was picking out leaves for hours....as usual, I made it into a "comedy routine" to hide the embarrassment.
4. I tripped on a curb too close to getting into the car...fell back against a tree & bumped my head...didn't hurt...what HURT was my Daughter and Grandson's that saw it...my daughter ran to help me AND IT STARTED RAINING ON BOTH OF US!! She had to get a man from the gas station behind us to help me up and into the car to go to the ER.This time it was just a fracture and not surgery but seeing the concern on my little boys faces was hard for me....:(
"OLD PEOPLE SMELL BAD!"
Also, NOT funny! There IS a reason many times,folks! Not to be too
indelicate....getting older is like having a '57 Chevy in 2012 and the "Warranty has lapsed"...the "body-shop" becomes active and unavoidable....parts that have served you well for many years start to
malfunction. Being a positive type person, you deal with it, you modify your life to "fit" and you go on blessed with "life" itself.
I have always loved aromas...my three favorites are: Pure Grace by
Philosophy, Angel and White Shoulders (my Grandma wore).I bathe every day cause I love that clean, warmness a hot shower gives.
I used to LOVE bubble baths until I had to use showers only...with my weight and no knee cartilage I had to stop or risk being found months later looking like a shriveled prune still stuck there! SO, I MODIFIED.
I used to be a "Mall Hopper"...could easily hit three stores in a day and not cut a sweat. Now, I plan carefully so I can get a lot done in a much shorter time...I use the Internet to shop more and a "planned out" route
or a check ahead by phone first; I MODIFIED.
I used to enjoy even going to the eye doctor...they had fancy,futuristic
machines that i mastered and prided myself on the score each time!! FUN
I could get NEW glasses.My favorite was an Hawaiian model. One day, they referred me to another eye doctor (Specialist) and the prognosis
was Retinopathy (Macular Degeneration) NOT FUN
(Years of Diabetes 2)I have had numerous laser surgeries..thank GOD for modern medicine. I MODIFIED.
MODIFICATIONS TO MY '57 CHEVY(me)
(1) I lowered my speed limit....no racing!
(2) No more fast u-turns!
(3) Keep "air" in the tires...
(4)Put nothing "rich" in the gas tank!
(5)WATCH the gas; if I do!
(6) If i creak..."oil" me with Mineral Ice.
(7) If I drop and roll over....I will do it SLOWLY!
(8) if I "slip" handle gently when up-righting for my pride.
(9)If my paint fades....please HUG me.
(10)The engine is strong...the body chassis is weak...give me credit for
keepin' on...keepin' on! Grammyxoxox
You can do nothing about getting older but you can do a LOT about
getting OLD! It is not BEING older that I dislike...it is being TREATED as if I am old.....trust me, it WILL come back to "bite ya".
We are all at different "chapters" in our "Life book" and many things will not be clear until you are IN the next "chapter".
Let me run some by you:
HANDICAPPED RESTROOMS/PARKING
I used to love to get these "private little rooms" with their own sinks! Like a
little apartment for me and I usually took my time there, too!
NOW, i NEED to use this room for the safety bar that lets me get up easily...I have no cartilage in both knees and most toilets are low.I NEED to be able to get up without calling for help and being horribly embarrassed....sometimes I need to get the room quickly cause of
my faulty plumbing system now. NOW, I will still have to wait for it but when a PERFECTLY HEALTHY person comes bounding out I admit
I DO glare a little. As far as the parking spots went I never had the nerve
required to take those & figured I would be the one to get caught and fined! But, I was lazy enough to actually enjoy getting to the point a Doctor would issue me one! (still lazy, but now authorized!!)NOW...i will
actually check to see when someone beats me to it IF THEY HAVE THE CARD IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR OR NOT....and glare.Ha.
COMMERCIALS
#1. "I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!"(hilarious then)
NOW?
1. Broke my left arm getting dressed in the dark at 5 a.m. for school.
Jerry wanted to call the Paramedics and I wouldn't let him because they are usually cute and I was in my underwear; i got to school and delivered three lectures before going to the hospital...(Pride)
2. Slipped off a roller desk chair in my classroom at lunch and it took
three teachers to help me up. My PRIME concern was NOT LETTING THE STUDENTS COME BACK FROM LUNCH AND CATCH ME LIKE THAT!!!(Pride)
3. The only Teachers Protest I ever did at our school I tripped in a grass and leaf covered hole and rolled under the front bushes!! A 90
lb. teacher saw me and had to go for 2 Janitors for help for me.
I was picking out leaves for hours....as usual, I made it into a "comedy routine" to hide the embarrassment.
4. I tripped on a curb too close to getting into the car...fell back against a tree & bumped my head...didn't hurt...what HURT was my Daughter and Grandson's that saw it...my daughter ran to help me AND IT STARTED RAINING ON BOTH OF US!! She had to get a man from the gas station behind us to help me up and into the car to go to the ER.This time it was just a fracture and not surgery but seeing the concern on my little boys faces was hard for me....:(
"OLD PEOPLE SMELL BAD!"
Also, NOT funny! There IS a reason many times,folks! Not to be too
indelicate....getting older is like having a '57 Chevy in 2012 and the "Warranty has lapsed"...the "body-shop" becomes active and unavoidable....parts that have served you well for many years start to
malfunction. Being a positive type person, you deal with it, you modify your life to "fit" and you go on blessed with "life" itself.
I have always loved aromas...my three favorites are: Pure Grace by
Philosophy, Angel and White Shoulders (my Grandma wore).I bathe every day cause I love that clean, warmness a hot shower gives.
I used to LOVE bubble baths until I had to use showers only...with my weight and no knee cartilage I had to stop or risk being found months later looking like a shriveled prune still stuck there! SO, I MODIFIED.
I used to be a "Mall Hopper"...could easily hit three stores in a day and not cut a sweat. Now, I plan carefully so I can get a lot done in a much shorter time...I use the Internet to shop more and a "planned out" route
or a check ahead by phone first; I MODIFIED.
I used to enjoy even going to the eye doctor...they had fancy,futuristic
machines that i mastered and prided myself on the score each time!! FUN
I could get NEW glasses.My favorite was an Hawaiian model. One day, they referred me to another eye doctor (Specialist) and the prognosis
was Retinopathy (Macular Degeneration) NOT FUN
(Years of Diabetes 2)I have had numerous laser surgeries..thank GOD for modern medicine. I MODIFIED.
MODIFICATIONS TO MY '57 CHEVY(me)
(1) I lowered my speed limit....no racing!
(2) No more fast u-turns!
(3) Keep "air" in the tires...
(4)Put nothing "rich" in the gas tank!
(5)WATCH the gas; if I do!
(6) If i creak..."oil" me with Mineral Ice.
(7) If I drop and roll over....I will do it SLOWLY!
(8) if I "slip" handle gently when up-righting for my pride.
(9)If my paint fades....please HUG me.
(10)The engine is strong...the body chassis is weak...give me credit for
keepin' on...keepin' on! Grammyxoxox
