BUTTS...True Stories
Birge-Bytes : I have decided to tell you the REAL differences between Men and Women! Even
Albert Einstein was aware of fundamental differences: "Men marry women with the hope they
WILL NEVER CHANGE. Women marry men with the hope THEY WILL CHANGE. Invariably they are both disappointed!
My goal will be to show you some of these fundamental differences...some
even backed by Science and then sit back and have a good laugh about how funny it all is in the scheme of things. Mrs.B. (Married 50 years to SAME man..."qualified expert on Men"
P.S. I will attempt this by topics and swear it is ALL true.
BUTTS
MEN: DON'T HAVE THEM! It is a known fact that a man can have a Gut big enough
to open doors before the rest of them even get there and STILL HAVE NO DISCERNABLE
BUTT. My husband lost 89 lbs. in 4 months...ALL from his Gut..Butt stayed the same; flat!
WOMEN: I can also open doors before the rest of me gets there and EVEN DO IT BACKWARDS!
NOT USING MY BUTT RIGHT GOT ME "FIRED" IN A VOLUNTEER JOB AT OUR
LOCAL HOSPITAL....!? I was wheeling a very attractive, by the way, very tall man in a
Body Cast from legs down (now get this visual in your mind as I continue) They gave me NO
wheelchair instructions. I think they were counting on a certain amount of "common sense"...
We came to a large padded double door and I proceeded to take him through it with the help
of his right leg cast. We actually made it 1/3 of the way through; got stuck...he proceeded to
slide out of his chair in a kind of slow surreal but inevitable "falling out of" motion! Thank
God (again) that he had a funky kind of humor and thought it was hilarious or I wouldn't have
been able to go to college later & get wisdom. The Hospital didn't laugh. I also got "discharged"
from the Geriatric Ward for dropping Jello down a patients gown and trying to "retrieve" it with
a spoon.....I was "locked up" in the Crazy Ward when I had the Magazine/Candy cart and was
almost accosted by a six foot very large & unbalanced patient...I gave her the whole cart and
never returned. We are just not meant for some careers....even Volunteer ones. Lesson learned.
I even mistook a "dead" patient for a sleeping one and tried to wake him up for THERAPY.
MOVING ON.....
BRAINS (SERIOUS ON THIS ONE, FOLKS)
MEN & WOMEN: As Gender goes, NEITHER Man nor Woman is smarter or dumber than the other!! THEY DO PROCESS INFORMATION VERY DIFFERENTLY.
There IS no "Battle of the Sexes" .....it is an INDIVIDUAL assessment. Welcome to the
Twenty- First Century, folks....don't "delete" yet....hang around and learn.
MEN: If you have ever seen a brain it is divided into 2 major halves...right brain & left brain.
Men process what they hear & believe FIRST with the "Logic and Reason"Left side of the
brain...if they NEED EMOTION they can almost instantly call on the Emotion Center of
the Right Brain. In other words, Men will use Logic and Reason in a situation BEFORE
they will get emotional or NOT.
A MAN NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT FEELINGS BEFORE HE WILL TALK ABOUT
IT. THEIR FIRST INCLINATION TO ANY PROBLEM IS TO "FIX IT" QUICK SO
THE WOMAN THEY LOVE WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN. THEY WANT TO SOLVE
THE PROBLEM WITH ACTION!!!!!
WOMEN: Women have billions more neural-connectors between the two halves of the brain than
men do (Does NOT mean they are smarter than men...they think DIFFERENTLY than men.
Women ARE more complex and that is why men have such a hard time figuring them out!!!:(
WOMEN CAN AND DO PROCESS THOUGHT USING BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN
AT SAME TIME!!! YES, MEN....YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!! DO YOU SEE WHAT
I AM SAYING??? THEY CAN BE LOGICAL(A REAL PROBLEM) AT THE SAME
TIME AS HIGHLY EMOTIONAL! No wonder you have that look on your face trying
to "get by" the EMOTIONS to the REASON SHE IS SO UPSET. Most men can't handle
this or really LOVE the woman enough to sort through it to help her. Also, a woman NEEDS
to TALK ABOUT A PROBLEM WITH THE ONE SHE LOVES....TO BE HEARD
PAST THE TEARS TO HELP HER. IF YOU LOVE HER, YOU WILL.:)
THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE
TO KNOW AND IN THE MEANTIME I WILL JUST KEEP INFORMING......THIS SITE IS
FOR ALL AGES AND ALL (MOST) QUESTIONS (that won't get me kicked off the Internet)
Albert Einstein was aware of fundamental differences: "Men marry women with the hope they
WILL NEVER CHANGE. Women marry men with the hope THEY WILL CHANGE. Invariably they are both disappointed!
My goal will be to show you some of these fundamental differences...some
even backed by Science and then sit back and have a good laugh about how funny it all is in the scheme of things. Mrs.B. (Married 50 years to SAME man..."qualified expert on Men"
P.S. I will attempt this by topics and swear it is ALL true.
BUTTS
MEN: DON'T HAVE THEM! It is a known fact that a man can have a Gut big enough
to open doors before the rest of them even get there and STILL HAVE NO DISCERNABLE
BUTT. My husband lost 89 lbs. in 4 months...ALL from his Gut..Butt stayed the same; flat!
WOMEN: I can also open doors before the rest of me gets there and EVEN DO IT BACKWARDS!
NOT USING MY BUTT RIGHT GOT ME "FIRED" IN A VOLUNTEER JOB AT OUR
LOCAL HOSPITAL....!? I was wheeling a very attractive, by the way, very tall man in a
Body Cast from legs down (now get this visual in your mind as I continue) They gave me NO
wheelchair instructions. I think they were counting on a certain amount of "common sense"...
We came to a large padded double door and I proceeded to take him through it with the help
of his right leg cast. We actually made it 1/3 of the way through; got stuck...he proceeded to
slide out of his chair in a kind of slow surreal but inevitable "falling out of" motion! Thank
God (again) that he had a funky kind of humor and thought it was hilarious or I wouldn't have
been able to go to college later & get wisdom. The Hospital didn't laugh. I also got "discharged"
from the Geriatric Ward for dropping Jello down a patients gown and trying to "retrieve" it with
a spoon.....I was "locked up" in the Crazy Ward when I had the Magazine/Candy cart and was
almost accosted by a six foot very large & unbalanced patient...I gave her the whole cart and
never returned. We are just not meant for some careers....even Volunteer ones. Lesson learned.
I even mistook a "dead" patient for a sleeping one and tried to wake him up for THERAPY.
MOVING ON.....
BRAINS (SERIOUS ON THIS ONE, FOLKS)
MEN & WOMEN: As Gender goes, NEITHER Man nor Woman is smarter or dumber than the other!! THEY DO PROCESS INFORMATION VERY DIFFERENTLY.
There IS no "Battle of the Sexes" .....it is an INDIVIDUAL assessment. Welcome to the
Twenty- First Century, folks....don't "delete" yet....hang around and learn.
MEN: If you have ever seen a brain it is divided into 2 major halves...right brain & left brain.
Men process what they hear & believe FIRST with the "Logic and Reason"Left side of the
brain...if they NEED EMOTION they can almost instantly call on the Emotion Center of
the Right Brain. In other words, Men will use Logic and Reason in a situation BEFORE
they will get emotional or NOT.
A MAN NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT FEELINGS BEFORE HE WILL TALK ABOUT
IT. THEIR FIRST INCLINATION TO ANY PROBLEM IS TO "FIX IT" QUICK SO
THE WOMAN THEY LOVE WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN. THEY WANT TO SOLVE
THE PROBLEM WITH ACTION!!!!!
WOMEN: Women have billions more neural-connectors between the two halves of the brain than
men do (Does NOT mean they are smarter than men...they think DIFFERENTLY than men.
Women ARE more complex and that is why men have such a hard time figuring them out!!!:(
WOMEN CAN AND DO PROCESS THOUGHT USING BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN
AT SAME TIME!!! YES, MEN....YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!! DO YOU SEE WHAT
I AM SAYING??? THEY CAN BE LOGICAL(A REAL PROBLEM) AT THE SAME
TIME AS HIGHLY EMOTIONAL! No wonder you have that look on your face trying
to "get by" the EMOTIONS to the REASON SHE IS SO UPSET. Most men can't handle
this or really LOVE the woman enough to sort through it to help her. Also, a woman NEEDS
to TALK ABOUT A PROBLEM WITH THE ONE SHE LOVES....TO BE HEARD
PAST THE TEARS TO HELP HER. IF YOU LOVE HER, YOU WILL.:)
THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE
TO KNOW AND IN THE MEANTIME I WILL JUST KEEP INFORMING......THIS SITE IS
FOR ALL AGES AND ALL (MOST) QUESTIONS (that won't get me kicked off the Internet)
