MARITAL "SIGNING"

Simply Said:  "I never considered "Divorce"....Murder, yes!" Mrs.B.

We just returned from an incredible family Thanksgiving "reunion"...I have long since concluded that love and Family are everything to me...but these get-togethers always strengthens that belief for me. For four days I just basked in the wonder of my family...no iPad, television or "Smarter than Me" phones.I could describe each member individually to you but it would take too long so I will narrow it down to my NEW
Great Nephew Calvin Kennings Mattheus and my OLD sweetheart Jerry.....below 1943    

My Great Nephew Calvin

Calvin Kennings Mattheus age 14 months can use "Baby Signing" and is proficient in at least 21

signs to signal what he needs from his parents!  The cute little boy above grew up to marry me and

is ALSO proficient as how to get what HE needs!

My husband Jerry has taught ME at least 10 "signs"...

(1) If he displays a wrinkle on his forehead between his eyes: he is lying OR THINKS he made a joke!

(2) A tight cheek muscle twitch: I have gone too far and need to settle down.

(3) If he stands up suddenly in a crowd: WE are ready to go; grab my pocketbook.

(4) If he has a very slight grimace on his face: He is in EXTREME PAIN; call Paramedics!

(5) If his eyes roll upwards and to the side(either side): I have just asked him a "sensitive"....

hypothetical question he is NOT going to answer but it is too late; it escapes my mouth!

(6) If he lays flat on his back in bed with legs upraised: I need to put his socks on.

(7) If he goes to the bathroom WITH the Sports page: Forget it! Find the nearest gas station restroom.

(8) IF he looks at me with just a slight smile(no teeth showing): He has approved me for public viewing.

(9) ONE very STERN LOOK:  Stop whatever I am doing because it is "Over the top"(his opinion)

(10) He can break the highest Decibel level known to man while watching a game, reading the Sports page AND googling the  IPad.... all at the same time BUT if I (under the covers) put the volume ON

my Minipad barely audible(where I am reading their LIPS, mainly,)he hears it!! This is called "Selective Hearing" in Psychology.

(11) we must NEVER be sick at the same time or my capacity to serve is diminished.

(12) I am allowed to ask him to do ANYTHING. He has the right to NOT do ANYTHING(or pretend he didn't hear)

(13) He can make jokes about any of MY physical or mental flaws and I can do the same!!?

     It just does not BOTHER him at all:(

(14) I didn't want to STOP with "13" things so....one more. 

Before feminists go into a catatonic shock...I wouldn't change a thing about him; he is the best

blessing I ever had and I adore him. (When I read this to him, I guarantee his eyes will roll) 

Jerry's wife & Best Friend, Bev....married 53 years