AS HUMANS WE ALL HAVE LIMITS
Simply Said: "Thank God....and I do."
I was told once by a student that the reason I was able to help so many of my students was my ability to "share" my life experiences with them...thereby, freeing them up to come to me for help. I always told them that in doing so, it might make me vulnerable to those that wished me harm...but it turned out just the opposite! They knew they could trust me AND emphasize with them. They also knew that if WHAT they told me could cause harm to themselves or others that I had to report it or lose my career; I knew if they did come to me for help that they were seriously in need of it and I knew who to refer them to or "take" them to see.
Now that I find myself retired for 6 years and my only "classroom" is in Cyberspace...I still strongly want to continue in some capacity to help others.
It is called many things today..."melt down"...Acute Anxiety Disorder...P.T.S.D. It includes Panic attacks, Flashbacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression and Withdrawal or a combination of Cognitive Dysfunctions. The old term, I think, was "Nervous Breakdown". It occurs when the brain becomes overwhelmed & piled up beyond what it can cope with. The human brain is the most intricate and complex organism in the universe and serves to protect us and help us survive...our "best friend" so to speak;
unless it overflows by some trigger of unresolved issues.
Let me get off the "teacher-speak" and down and personal to anyone it might help.
From January 28th to May 12th of this year I was UNABLE to leave my home. It was as if I was sealed into some impenetrable and invisible vault. I have always called myself a "Social-Loner" because I LOVE my home but also LOVE social interaction. This was different. It was triggered by two physical injuries in a row.
A Sciatic attack lifting a basket of my shoes!! Very little sleep,very painful but finally healed on Feb.16. TWO days later, I FELL(due to weakened leg atrophy)leaving the house carport steps. Right leg black and blue in bed with it elevated due to swelling....this time the bedtime was exacerbated with the addition of visual flashbacks if I even THOUGHT of the backdoor...or the Foyer table where i almost went down again. I missed out on my Grandson Cullen's concert, our 55 year Anniversary, my 76th Birthday, Our
wonderful Great Aunt Hazels services in Florida and sank lower and lower into a Depressive Darkness. The lessons I have learned from all this are many and I do feel compelled to share with others on the rare chance it might help someone else.
FACTS
(1) What you "hide" in your mind is NEVER gone until exposed & healed.(They keep "living rent free" in your mind)
(2) Loving YOURSELF...not "being in love" with yourself(!) is vital!
Everyone can tell you you are "loved" but unless YOU can "receive" that love...it is a mute point. It can even make yourself feel worse because "WHY DON'T YOU AGREE WITH THEM?!"
(3) FAMILY IS EVERYTHING...keep working at it if it is NOT. (Don't let "petty" crap into it.)
(4) A belief in SOMETHING POSITIVE AND BIGGER THAN YOURSELF is crucial on the journey back to living.
(5) In every suicidal thought instance there is a point when it actually SEEMS LIKE THE SOLUTION BUT IT IS NOT!!!!! It is cowardly & EASY to let go. You DO NOT return the Gift of Life for an imperfection in your life...you FACE it and FIGHT back...I am.
(6) My Father killed himself in 1977. Intellectually, I thought I understood...age 72, going blind,etc.BUT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IT
MENTALLY and that remained! What my mind felt was: "He Chose
to LEAVE ME"...without my Best friend, my Role Model, My Dad.
A hidden guilt that I should have FORCED him to come live with me...and on and on. I know now I could never have "forced my Dad to do anything he didn't want to do." Today, I feel that IF he had known how it STILL affects my life in 2017 he "might" not have done it...or....is that selfish of ME?
(7) I used to tell my students while teaching Psychology that "IF you have a broken leg...you go FIX it!?" SOOOO, "if you have a "broken mind" you go FIX IT!!" Being a teacher...if I go FIX IT.. I want to show others HOW to do it! A professional Therapist CAN unlock that door in your mind and AIR IT OUT!
(8) I want EVERY BREATH I can have with this beautiful world and my beautiful FAMILY. I thank God everyday now for reaching down into the dark place I was and lovingly lifting me up. Peace is a wonderful feeling no matter what your age is and I am so grateful.
Mrs. Birge
I was told once by a student that the reason I was able to help so many of my students was my ability to "share" my life experiences with them...thereby, freeing them up to come to me for help. I always told them that in doing so, it might make me vulnerable to those that wished me harm...but it turned out just the opposite! They knew they could trust me AND emphasize with them. They also knew that if WHAT they told me could cause harm to themselves or others that I had to report it or lose my career; I knew if they did come to me for help that they were seriously in need of it and I knew who to refer them to or "take" them to see.
Now that I find myself retired for 6 years and my only "classroom" is in Cyberspace...I still strongly want to continue in some capacity to help others.
It is called many things today..."melt down"...Acute Anxiety Disorder...P.T.S.D. It includes Panic attacks, Flashbacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression and Withdrawal or a combination of Cognitive Dysfunctions. The old term, I think, was "Nervous Breakdown". It occurs when the brain becomes overwhelmed & piled up beyond what it can cope with. The human brain is the most intricate and complex organism in the universe and serves to protect us and help us survive...our "best friend" so to speak;
unless it overflows by some trigger of unresolved issues.
Let me get off the "teacher-speak" and down and personal to anyone it might help.
From January 28th to May 12th of this year I was UNABLE to leave my home. It was as if I was sealed into some impenetrable and invisible vault. I have always called myself a "Social-Loner" because I LOVE my home but also LOVE social interaction. This was different. It was triggered by two physical injuries in a row.
A Sciatic attack lifting a basket of my shoes!! Very little sleep,very painful but finally healed on Feb.16. TWO days later, I FELL(due to weakened leg atrophy)leaving the house carport steps. Right leg black and blue in bed with it elevated due to swelling....this time the bedtime was exacerbated with the addition of visual flashbacks if I even THOUGHT of the backdoor...or the Foyer table where i almost went down again. I missed out on my Grandson Cullen's concert, our 55 year Anniversary, my 76th Birthday, Our
wonderful Great Aunt Hazels services in Florida and sank lower and lower into a Depressive Darkness. The lessons I have learned from all this are many and I do feel compelled to share with others on the rare chance it might help someone else.
FACTS
(1) What you "hide" in your mind is NEVER gone until exposed & healed.(They keep "living rent free" in your mind)
(2) Loving YOURSELF...not "being in love" with yourself(!) is vital!
Everyone can tell you you are "loved" but unless YOU can "receive" that love...it is a mute point. It can even make yourself feel worse because "WHY DON'T YOU AGREE WITH THEM?!"
(3) FAMILY IS EVERYTHING...keep working at it if it is NOT. (Don't let "petty" crap into it.)
(4) A belief in SOMETHING POSITIVE AND BIGGER THAN YOURSELF is crucial on the journey back to living.
(5) In every suicidal thought instance there is a point when it actually SEEMS LIKE THE SOLUTION BUT IT IS NOT!!!!! It is cowardly & EASY to let go. You DO NOT return the Gift of Life for an imperfection in your life...you FACE it and FIGHT back...I am.
(6) My Father killed himself in 1977. Intellectually, I thought I understood...age 72, going blind,etc.BUT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IT
MENTALLY and that remained! What my mind felt was: "He Chose
to LEAVE ME"...without my Best friend, my Role Model, My Dad.
A hidden guilt that I should have FORCED him to come live with me...and on and on. I know now I could never have "forced my Dad to do anything he didn't want to do." Today, I feel that IF he had known how it STILL affects my life in 2017 he "might" not have done it...or....is that selfish of ME?
(7) I used to tell my students while teaching Psychology that "IF you have a broken leg...you go FIX it!?" SOOOO, "if you have a "broken mind" you go FIX IT!!" Being a teacher...if I go FIX IT.. I want to show others HOW to do it! A professional Therapist CAN unlock that door in your mind and AIR IT OUT!(8) I want EVERY BREATH I can have with this beautiful world and my beautiful FAMILY. I thank God everyday now for reaching down into the dark place I was and lovingly lifting me up. Peace is a wonderful feeling no matter what your age is and I am so grateful.
Mrs. Birge
