HO HO HO
Birge-Bytes: Charlie Chaplin (actually before my time) said, "A day without laughter is
a day wasted!" So, let's not waste anymore time, kidlets! By the way, "if
Barbie is so popular, why do they have to "buy" her friends?!"
Because of "ole Birge" here, you will be able to entertain and regale your Holiday friends for free!
SONGS FOR PEOPLE WITH PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS
1. (Schizophrenia) "Do You Hear What I Hear!?"
2. (Multiple Personality Disorder) "We Three Queens Disoriented Are!"
3. (Dementia) "I THINK I'll be Home for Christmas"
4. (Narcissistic Disorder) "Hark the Herald Angels Sing...about ME!"
5. (Paranoid) "Santa Claus is Coming to Get ME!"
6. (Personality Disorder) "You Better Watch Out, I'm Going To Cry, I'm Going to Pout, I
May Tell You Why!"
7. (Borderline Personality Disorder) "Thoughts of Roasting On an Open Fire!"
8. (Manic) "Deck the Halls and Walls, and House and Lawn and Streets and Cars and Fire Hydrants,
Trees and Trucks and Buses and Town etc.etc.
9. (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.....
IT GETS WORSE, FOLKS.....HANG IN
What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
CHESS NUTS BOASTING IN AN OPEN FOYER
What happens if you eat Xmas decorations?
YOU GET TINSEL-ITIS
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
IT'S CHRISTMAS, EVE
Which reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?
RUDE-olph
Why did the little boy push his bed into the fireplace?
HE WANTED TO SLEEP LIKE A LOG
What is green, covered with tinsel, and goes "ribbit ribbit"?
A MISTLE-TOAD
This year, even the TOYS are stressed out!
YEAH, THEY EVEN COME WOUND UP
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A COOKIE SHEET
Why did the Gingerbread Man go to the Doctor?
HE WAS FEELING CRUMMY!
Why don't penguins FLY?
THEY ARE TOO SHORT TO BE PILOTS!
Why did the mosquito buzz around the bar?
HE WAS A "BAR HUMBUG"
What kind of money do they use at the North Pole?
COLD CASH
What do Eskimos use to hold their homes together?
IG-GLUE
What did one angel say to the other angel?
HALO THERE!!!!
AND FINALLY FOR HANGING IN FOR THESE WONDERFUL JOKES...ONE MORE!!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF THERE HAD BEEN THREE WISE
WOMEN INSTEAD OF THREE WISE MEN???
answer: The WOMEN would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped "deliver" the baby,
cleaned the stable, made a casserole and given practical gifts!!
Do not worry about me....God already knows my sense of humor! Mrs.B.
a day wasted!" So, let's not waste anymore time, kidlets! By the way, "if
Barbie is so popular, why do they have to "buy" her friends?!"
Because of "ole Birge" here, you will be able to entertain and regale your Holiday friends for free!
SONGS FOR PEOPLE WITH PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS
1. (Schizophrenia) "Do You Hear What I Hear!?"
2. (Multiple Personality Disorder) "We Three Queens Disoriented Are!"
3. (Dementia) "I THINK I'll be Home for Christmas"
4. (Narcissistic Disorder) "Hark the Herald Angels Sing...about ME!"
5. (Paranoid) "Santa Claus is Coming to Get ME!"
6. (Personality Disorder) "You Better Watch Out, I'm Going To Cry, I'm Going to Pout, I
May Tell You Why!"
7. (Borderline Personality Disorder) "Thoughts of Roasting On an Open Fire!"
8. (Manic) "Deck the Halls and Walls, and House and Lawn and Streets and Cars and Fire Hydrants,
Trees and Trucks and Buses and Town etc.etc.
9. (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.....
IT GETS WORSE, FOLKS.....HANG IN
What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
CHESS NUTS BOASTING IN AN OPEN FOYER
What happens if you eat Xmas decorations?
YOU GET TINSEL-ITIS
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
IT'S CHRISTMAS, EVE
Which reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?
RUDE-olph
Why did the little boy push his bed into the fireplace?
HE WANTED TO SLEEP LIKE A LOG
What is green, covered with tinsel, and goes "ribbit ribbit"?
A MISTLE-TOAD
This year, even the TOYS are stressed out!
YEAH, THEY EVEN COME WOUND UP
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A COOKIE SHEET
Why did the Gingerbread Man go to the Doctor?
HE WAS FEELING CRUMMY!
Why don't penguins FLY?
THEY ARE TOO SHORT TO BE PILOTS!
Why did the mosquito buzz around the bar?
HE WAS A "BAR HUMBUG"
What kind of money do they use at the North Pole?
COLD CASH
What do Eskimos use to hold their homes together?
IG-GLUE
What did one angel say to the other angel?
HALO THERE!!!!
AND FINALLY FOR HANGING IN FOR THESE WONDERFUL JOKES...ONE MORE!!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF THERE HAD BEEN THREE WISE
WOMEN INSTEAD OF THREE WISE MEN???
answer: The WOMEN would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped "deliver" the baby,
cleaned the stable, made a casserole and given practical gifts!!
Do not worry about me....God already knows my sense of humor! Mrs.B.
